It's been a month since my last update, and I've had a birthday since then. Another month gone, and another year of failures and regrets. I've failed to take a single photograph that doesn't suck in some major way, and I regret not trying harder. I've been reading a lot, but lately I get the feeling that I've simply been decoding characters and not actually absorbing anything useful.

So, I got a couple of 'lay' books. I got the Art Book, and the Photo Book. Each book contains 500 images from 500 artists/photographers and includes a short bit of text about each piece. I have to say I'm disappointed. Disappointed in the quality of the images/art, or disappointed in my own ability to appreciate what people who publish books think of as legendary work, I'm not sure. But I have to say it's probably me, and a little bit of being spoiled from seeing what the best of what deviantART has to offer. Every time I flip through a magazine, or book, or go to a museum, I can't help but say to myself, "I've seen better on deviantART." But, as awesome as this place is, not a lot of learning happens.

What I need to do is learn more about post processing, posing, interactions with models, how to get the light right, and a over-all sense of what's too much or too little when it comes to editing photos. so what DO I know? lol

A big problem is my monitor. I'll look at something on MY monitor, and it's looks horrible at a friend's house. I need to get a pro monitor and get it calibrated.

I need to self-critique my stuff better, and put conscious thought into how to change. I need to leave the house with at least 10 poses I want to try. I need to srart showing up earlier. I learned this a couple weeks ago. Joe McNally shows up 2 hours early. I laughed. I showed up an hour early to a football game and found out they moved the game an hour earlier, so I showed up just in time, and that's too close for comfort. 2 hours early isn't always possible, since I sometimes do a shoot directly after work, but the football game was on my day off, and I had nothing better to do.

You'll enjoy reading this: my dream of owning the Canon 85 1.2 keeps getting pushed back, further and further. Last week, the hood of my car came un-latched at 60mph, bent back, cracked my windshield and dented the fuck out of the top of my car. Probably $2000+ damage. I just hate my life. My bike had to have some repair done, but it was hella cheaper. $62 to have all the fuel flushed from the system and stabilizer added. Appearantly this gas they're selling us now is only good for 3 weeks. I had my bike sit for a couple months, and the gas had completely gone bad. Fuck OPEC or whoever the fuck ever.


Anyhoo, I think I'm getting sick again, and I have to get up early, so g'night. I've bitched enough, already.